Sweet Shoppe Designs – The Sweetest Digital Scrapbooking Site on the Web

I will never forget the day. I was in high school and my boyfriend (actually, maybe an ex-boyfriend by then) was standing in my basement.  We were near a bookcase and he said to me, “You are bound and determined to be unhappy.”

Around the same time I walked into my room only to see a book that my mom had laid on my bed.  It’s title? Happiness is a Choice.

A few years later, my mom presented a birthday gift to me.  It was a poster collage of nature photos.  She called it my happy poster.  Her hope was that I would look at it and feel happy.

The problem was, I wasn’t happy.  I was miserable.  I spent many, many years depressed and this depression led to counseling, medication, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicidal fascination.

Oh how life has changed! I thought that there was no way out of my misery and I would have never believed that I would someday say that I was genuinely, truly, undeniably happy.  But I can say those things now.  Today.  I am happy.

The thing is, life isn’t easy.  Life isn’t perfect.

• I live in a third world country.
• I have five kids.
• I homeschool.
• The money always runs out before the month does.
• I have conflicts with my kids, my husband, friends, and family.
• I get stressed and overwhelmed.
• I made huge mistakes.
• We leave for America in six weeks and I have no idea what we will do for work or even how we will get from the airport to our new house.

But the thing is, I am happy. My happiness no longer depends on my circumstances.  My happiness comes from my gratitude.

Over the past few months, I have been living with the phrase, “Just look!” I realized that if I only looked around me I would see how incredibly blessed I truly am.  I was already on the happiness trail, but this one little phrase has propelled me farther than I ever thought possible.

I take walks in the morning and I see the glorious colors of the sunrise and I walk in the evening and see the glorious colors of the sunset.

I play outside with the kids and I see bugs in every imaginable color and size.

I see siblings loving each other and my heart bursts.

I see the beauty of nature and I am in awe.

I see the smile of my four year old’s face on her birthday and know that I am blessed.

I see a baby who will attempt anything to get near me and I am humbled at the chance to raise these little ones.

I see beautiful flowers and trees and I am reminded that nature calls to me everyday and says, “Happiness is all around you.  Just look!”

A few weeks after embracing this “Just Look!” motto, I read these words.  Ah…someone else gets it.

“I am a hunter of beauty and I move slow and I keep the eyes wide, every fiber of every muscle sensing all wonder and this is the thrill of the hunt and I could be an expert on the life full, the beauty meat that lurks in every moment. 

I hunger to taste life.

God.”

Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

So yes.  I am happy.  So happy in fact, that I am making my mom a Happy Book for Mother’s Day. Pictures that make me happy. It’s my way of saying, “Thanks for teaching me what I wasn’t ready to understand.”

Life is beautiful.  It’s not easy or perfect or always fun.  But it is beautiful.  You just have to look.